Reflective listening is one of the most important, if not the most important, skills you can develop. Here are some questions from God Space: Where Spiritual Conversations Happen Naturally:

• So, if I’m hearing you right [briefly paraphrase the feelings and ideas you thought you heard].
• Let me make sure I’m tracking with you. You’re [briefly paraphrase the feeling and ideas you thought you heard].
• You’re saying you feel [briefly paraphrase the feeling] because [briefly paraphrase the thought]. Is that right?
• Wow! You’re really [briefly paraphrase the feeling] when you think about [briefly paraphrase the thought].
• What you really want me to grasp is that [briefly paraphrase the feeling and ideas you thought you heard].
• It’s like [use a word picture to convey the feelings or ideas you thought you heard]. Does that capture it?
• So what ticks you off the most is [briefly paraphrase the feelings and ideas you thought you heard].
• So what excites you most is [briefly paraphrase the feelings and ideas you thought you heard].
• So the really big thing for you is [briefly paraphrase the feelings and ideas you thought you heard].